Ways of creating tension in writing scenes.

To maintain your readers’ interest it might be a good idea to add some tension to your scenes.
For example:

Lucy was on her way to work. It was a glorious day, the birds were singing and the sun was shining. She hummed a little tune to herself as she strode purposefully to the bus stop.

So here was have a beautiful morning and Lucy going to work. Fine as it goes, but it lost me by “glorious day.” Let’s try again.

Lucy was on her way to work. It was a glorious day, the birds were singing and the sun was shining. Lucy had no time to appreciate the beauty of the day as she was worried that she would miss the bus. If she was late for work one more time she would lose her job.

We have a bit of concern here. There is now a consequence of what would happen if Lucy misses her bus. Let’s try it again.

Lucy tried to catch her breath as she ran towards the waiting bus. She knew that the driver always impatient wouldn’t wait for long. Her clothes stuck to her in the heat of the day and she could feel her face turning red through her exertions. She was on a written warning at work for lateness and one more time meant she would lose her job.

Now we have some tension building and the events are beginning to hold our interest. Can we build on this further?

Lucy tried to catch her breath as she ran towards the waiting bus. She had missed her alarm after a long night preparing the report that she now held under her arm. Dressed for the morning meeting she cursed the heels that convention and her company’s management dictated she wore for such events.
The bus was already at the stop and Lucy knew that the regular driver always impatient wouldn’t wait for long. Her only business suit wasn’t made for the summer season or running and it stuck to her in the early heat of the morning. Lucy could feel her face turning red through her exertions. She made a mental note to start attending the gym again. She was on a written warning at work for lateness and one more time, especially this morning meant she would lose her job.

Getting there! Let’s take this even further. What if just as she gets within reach of the bus she twists her ankle and drops the papers everywhere? What if the bus pulls away without her on it?
Now, what if from a concealed position a man has been silently watching her? And by the way, the birds were singing and the sun was shining.

Author: Ken White

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